My Office Crush: Devastation
I think I may have reached the lowest depths of the office crush epic. My beloved Lisa (who I have since forgiven for leaving me alone in the women’s restroom with a cockroach) approached me with important office related business. Our conversation quickly turned to casual banter about our weekend and how the savages in my office were making her work on a photo shoot all weekend to which I excalimed "I’ll kill them!". I must have said it a little too sincerely because she quickly responded with "No, no, no, it’s okay, really…" Anyway, as conversation and death threats ensued she suddenly froze and looked at me funny. "Is that you?" she asked. "Is what me?" I said. "That smell Mike, what the hell is that?" It was true, there was a smell and sadly it was me. I had stepped in dog shit on the way to work. How my one-time uncanny sense of smell missed this all morning I do not know. All I could think of was my damn neighbor with that horrible shitz-zu/terrier hybrid who keeps leaving little piles on the sidewalk in front of our house, but it was a moot point really because all that mattered now was that I was standing before the woman I loved smelling like dog crap. "I stepped in shit!" I excalimed. "I would do something about that." said Lisa as she polietely held her breath and walked away. Devastated, I headed for the door where I was served the final insult as our maintence guy Miguel Padilla passed me and exclaimed "Whoa! You smell like shit bro!". Yes, Miguel…I know.
